A quick story about me and my son

A quick story about me and my son. It had been a little over three years since I had physically seen my son. Recently I was able to drive through Texas, where he currently lives. I spent three days in Texas, visiting, and just being with him.

As the day approached for me to leave, continuing my journey, I assured him that I would be back. I could sense his fears and apprehensions of letting me leave. If I left, how could he be certain that I would return? Even more than that, how would he be able to answer the inner feelings of loneliness? How could he hear my voice, or know where I was at all times?

I realized that If he could, at any moment, when a question or fear arose, immediately communicate with me, then I could, at that moment, reassure him and calm any doubts or fears.

I just happened to have recently purchased a new phone. So, my previous phone, still in very good condition, and with perks that are much more than what most boys his age would have, was available for me to give him. I also had an extra line on my phone account that was not being used. So, I decided to give him the phone.

I set up the phone for him with parental restrictions, some special apps, and handed him the phone. It also came with an accessory music speaker, a charger, two different style phone cases, a glass screen protector, and I threw in my “Beats by Dre” wireless headphones as well. I showed him all of the things he could do on the phone.

By being on my account he had access to music, movies, games, and a personal email. I set up the emails just for him and I to communicate on. But, most importantly, I logged my number into his contacts.

He only had one contact on his new phone. But it was the main one that mattered to him. And that was mine. As I showed him how to call, text, or video chat, I reassured him that I could be, and would be, available to him at all times. Why? Because he is my son.

I had physically, tangibly, been reunited with my son. This reuniting was, and is, healing, comforting, and refreshing, in many ways. But now I have to go again. Just for a little while. (Literally a week or two.) But I will be back. I'm going so that I can finish some things. So that I can accomplish and prepare some things. For me, for him, for us.

While I am away, in body, if my son begins to doubt, worry, fear, or question things, he has direct access to his father. Even if his father has to be geographically away, for a short time, it will not be like it has in times past. The past is gone, and new things have begun.

He now has the tool and the ability to communicate with his father at any moment. He has been given the tool, with extra perks and gifts, as well as permission and authority, to talk, text, email, or video chat, at any time. The phone itself is even a tangible reminder of this. And a reminder of the promise that was given with it. “You aren't alone. You are not being left, or abandoned. I am coming back.”

If my son begins to feel like I have been gone too long he can discuss those feelings with me. If he feels sad because I am gone, he can tell me. I will hear him, then speak and reassure him of my plans, my intentions, and my heart for him. If he just wants to talk, or ask a question about how to do something, I will hear him and offer answers, wisdom, and encouragement.

On my first day of leaving, driving through the neighboring states, my son called me on video chat. At least four times within the first 2 hours.

At first he wanted to know, “Where are you now? Can you show me the scenery?” I showed him. Then we talked about the fun things we had done together. And then I told him about the fun things we would be doing together in the near future.

I’m sure, with each call he made, it was also a test. Inside he may have had the question, or concern, wondering, “Do I really have access to my father at any time? Can I see him, hear his voice, and talk about anything, at any time?” Like our Father's answer, God our Father, the answer is, “Yes. Any time.”

The following video chats were less specific. My son wanted to have his phone on, with our videos on, while he played video games. He just wanted me to be near. At different random moments I would hear, a quick celebration from a “video game victory”, or a disappointed yell at a “video game defeat''. My son just wanted to know I was near. That I was available. He wanted me to hear, and be a part of, even the small, moments and details of his day.

Our Father, and us, are the same. We may not always realize it, but He has given us that access with Him. He loves us so much that even in the small details of our lives, our “small”, seemingly “insignificant”, details of our lives matter to Him.

He does listen. He wants to listen. Our victories, or defeats, that occur in our “important” video games of our lives, He wants to be part of sharing those moments with us.

My responses to my son, during his “ups and downs” on his video game adventure reminded me of how God responds to us. I would hear him, then I would ask, “What happened?”. He would describe it to me. For the victories, I would celebrate with him and encourage him. I was happy for him.

The game, and the specific occurrence, was very minor in comparison to what seems to be going on in “the real world”. But I cared. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed my child.

When he expressed disappointment, I reassured him that he was “still good”. That he could try again. That he could, and would do better. That he would keep getting better. All of these responses are what I know God says to us. He doesn't fret, get discouraged, fearful, worried or concerned like we do.

God has given us complete, total, unlimited access to Him. To have Him, and keep Him, near us. To speak to Him, talk to Him, know Him. We can share all things with Him. Our Father knew we would need reassurance, answers, and encouragement, throughout each day of our lives. We would need to have answers to our worries, concerns, failures, fears, even our victories.

Like a child we may often sense inside of us, a moment of thinking, “God? DAD? Did you see that?” He has reassured us, and wants us to know without any doubt, “Yes, He sees”. He is proud. He is in love with us. He is near us and always available.

He knows the bad, the hard, the dark, the scary things that happen, and that we are involved in. Yet, He is not fearful about those things. He is not ashamed of us. Not for anything. He is not displeased, not in the way many of us think. His response is, “You can do this. You are getting better. I know you can do it. You're just learning, and I am here with you. I’m here to hear you."

Whether you think you did bad, or good. Whether you want to talk, listen, ask questions, share stories, or just keep an open line to know your Father is always available, and always cares. No matter what reasons, Your Father, God, wants that communication with you too. God gave us unlimited access, with perks, to connect and communicate with Him.

Allow yourself, like the bible says, to be childlike. Have faith like a child. Faith, knowing that God is always connected with you. No matter what scenario, what things you have or have not done. No matter what, you, HIS CHILD, have constant, unlimited, access to Him.

Did you know that the only thing that keeps us from being near Him, from experiencing communication and nearness with Him, is guilt and shame?

If my son believed He couldn’t call me because had "been bad", then it would be the guilt and shame that kept him from communicating with me. Not the “bad thing” he may have done. I would still talk to him, no matter what. I would still love and encourage him.

“Shame” and “Guilt” would be like two really mean “neighbor friends” telling my son that he shouldn’t call me. That he can’t call me because I was mad, or would be mad. Shame and Guilt would be used as manipulative fear tactics to keep my son from communicating with me.

If fear, "Shame" and "Guilt", made my son believe he couldn’t, or shouldn’t, talk to me, then how would my son get through life? How could he get through his days?

What would happen when he had his many questions, or just wanted to share things about his life? When He wanted reassurance that He wasn't alone and that I loved him. What would become of his joy, his hopes, and anticipations, if he couldn’t be reassured that I had plans to come back and have an awesome future with him? How could that reassurance, that he needs, occur if shame and guilt convinced him that he couldn’t communicate with me? Or if he was too afraid to communicate with me?

This is what happens to many of us. The lies of shame and guilt keep us from taking advantage of the constant access we have to talk with, and hear from, Our Father. The bad things that any of us have ever done, or will ever do, cannot, and do not, remove us from Him. Our sins do not make our Father draw away from us. That’s a lie.

It’s only the guilt and the shame, the ungodly, unhealthy, fear of punishment, that keep us from picking up our phones and talking to God about every detail of our lives. Which, in turn, means that our “mean neighbor friends”, Guilt and Shame, are keeping us from talking to The One who could help us overcome anything. The One who has all the answers we may need.

It’s not, ever, anything we have done, or experienced, that could keep us from communication with our Father. It’s only when we believe the lies of our “mean neighbor friends”. Our belief in those lies, Shame and Guilt, keep us from the amazing gift our Father gave us. From hearing, seeing, and knowing His love for us. From hearing, and knowing, His wisdom, encouragement, and reassuring promises.

God gave you unlimited access, to hear Him. To, at any moment, be reminded and know that He is always available to you. That He is near you. Believe it. Like a child, believe. Call your Father, about anything, about all things. Cast your cares upon Him. All of them. Constantly talk to Him.

Not like you're talking to the wall. Talk to God like my son was talking to me. Knowing the phone line was open. Knowing we were connected. Even if his eyes were on his video game, and if neither of us were currently speaking, he knew I was there. That I would hear Him if he spoke, and he would hear me. He knew that I cared and I had answers.

God has already reunited with us. He sent Jesus. Jesus fixed our problem of not having constant access, communication, to Our Father.

God loved, and loves us, so much that He sent Jesus. Jesus, agreeing with His Father, said, “Yes, I want all of the people to be able to experience, constantly, being able to be near, talk to, and hear from, Our Father. I want them all to be able to know who they are, how special and important they are. And in order for them to have that, I will go down to earth and fix the communication barrier.”

At one time, it was our sins, the bad things we constantly did toward one another, that kept us from being able to stay connected to God.

So Jesus said, “I will go show them how to love each other. And since they won’t ever be able to afford to get out of debt on their own, much less purchase phones to have constant communication with Our Father, I will go pay their debts for them. Once I have paid their debt, then Our Father can provide them all with the communication devices. He can give, to whoever wants it, their own individual ability to hear, talk, listen, and communicate with the Father.”

Because Jesus paid our debts The Father was reunited with us, and us with Him. Now, if we want to, we can accept the phone. The direct, unlimited, access to Him. He gives us His Spirit, the Spirit of Jesus Christ, who will live within us, with us, and is the device that relays, communicates to us, the things Our Father is saying. How He feels about us. What He has planned for us. How amazing He has created us, and the awesome, amazing, things He has planned for our future.

Do not let any idea, thought, feeling, fear, shame or guilt make you believe any different. Your Father loves you. He wants, He is even longing, for you to call Him. To talk, share, listen, even just sit silently with Him. He just wants to be near you. And for you to know, HE IS, and always will be, with you.